Knitting Out While the Knitting's Good

So, yeah, haven't been posting a whole lot. Got a number of 'irons in the fire' so to speak including a couple of knitting projects that are sucking up immense amounts of free time.

So, to tide you over, here's another 'Why Would You Knit That?!' item.



For the record, I don't necessarily hate the style. It's a sweater vest. It's functional. It's a little too 'Stereotypical Librarian' for my taste (and I can say that because among my several college degrees I now have a Masters in Library Science) the big problem is the color scheme here.

I mean, seriously, why would you knit a sweater with the Joker's color scheme?



And for the recond, Harley Quinn wouldn't be caught dead in a sweater vest like this....

Knitted Stuff... Yet More!

I'm working my way through the Doctor Who serial "The Aztecs" but I've been busy so the review isn't ready yet.

In the meantime, here's more knitted stuff that makes me wonder... WHY?



The description of this states that it is a "perfect" addition to a sleeveless outfit.

Ummmm Dear Description Writer -- in case you haven't noticed.... this... "shrug" (seriously, they say this is supposed to be a shrug)... IS sleeveless!

Really, what is this piece keeping warm? It doesn't come up high enough to keep your neck warm, it's split in the middle so if you're wearing a top with a deep scoop neck or a v-neck (as the model is) it isn't keeping your chest warm, and it's sleeveless so it isn't going to keep your arms warm either.

It isn't long enough to be called a vest and in point of fact it ends up just kind of looking like... well... a bib.

The thing of it is that this design would actually make a rather nice vest. If it were longer and then worn over a shirt or blouse it would work rather well. As it is... why would you bother to knit this?

Why Would You Knit That?!... AGAIN!

I've got some reviews waiting in the wings which I'm working on. In the meantime feast your eyes on the glory of this sweater....



I know it can't top the "Footsie" of my last crazy knitting post but, you have to admit, this is pretty bad.

For one thing, it looks like someone got sick on rainbow sherbet (not that I don't love me some rainbow sherbet but that doesn't mean I want to *wear* it). Second, this is called (and I kid you not) the "Mix It Up Sweater". That's the title of the pattern. Yeah. There's a difference between "mixing" something and putting it in a blender and hitting "liquefy"... and not in a good way. We've got stripes running different ways (never a good idea unless you're a modernist painter), we have random tassels and bobbles that look like someone stuck lint balls from about half a dozen different sweaters of different colors on this and, as the crowing achievement, we have a pocket/pouch that is not centered and looks like someone took a knitted purse and sewed it to the front of the sweater.

WHY? Why would anyone make this monstrosity? Like Frankenstein's monster it looks like it was pieced together of different parts... possibly made of liquefied My Little Ponies based on the colors.

Incomprehensible Knitting

Okay, I wasn't going to do this again so soon but I think I stumbled across the ruler of 'WTH... why would you knit that?!' items.

All other incomprehensible knitted items bow before this one because it is utterly, mind-blowingly crazy.

Behold! I give you.............

The "Footsie"

No, I'm not kidding, that's actually the name of this item. And there is a pattern on how to make it.

Now don't get me wrong. I understand the desire to prop one's feet up on a nice pillow... particularly while seated on a comfy chair, wrapped up in a good book. Also, as someone who is easily chilled I understand wanting one's feet to be warm. But attempting to combine the two with one item?

Urm..... no. Just..... no.

I mean, look at that! It's a safety hazard!! Someone knocks at your door or the phone rings and you're likely to break your neck trying to get your feet out of this thing in time to get to the door or the phone. And God forbid it be an actual emergency... like something being on fire. I can just see someone trying to 'hop' to the rescue because they can't get their feet out of their pillow in time.

And if that bit of stupidly was not enough there's more! Because think about this -- why would you go through the trouble and expense of knitting this when you could buy a cheap throw pillow at K-Mart for a couple of bucks and knit yourself a nice, soft pair of warm slipper socks (or buy them if you don't feel like knitting anything) which would essentially do the same thing but at a fraction of the cost and a fraction of the time and trouble.

To add insult to injury? Again, the yarn recommended to make this monstrosity is... alpaca wool. SERIOUSLY?! The creator not only expected someone to want to MAKE this and to want to USE it, but also to be willing to spend a metric crap ton of money on the yarn to do it.

There are things in this life which are wrong... THIS is pretty much all of them.

Why Would You Knit That?!?!

A few years back I stumbled across the (now sadly defunct) blogspot You Knit What?? (warning for those who click on the link and peruse the blogspot -- the original creators were quite funny but also occasionally profane) which was a source of immense hilarity to me -- even though at the time I didn't knit and knew very little about knitting.

The point of You Knit What?? was to poke fun at ugly knitting patterns.

And indeed, the patterns they featured on the website were usually mind-bogglingly bad on a fashion level alone.

Now, however, that I have started to become a knitter myself I understand the hours of work and the expense of some of the yarns involved and I have to ask myself.... Why would you knit THAT?!

So, in tribute to the ladies of You Knit What?? I will occasionally feature an image of an item which is actually knittable. In other words, these are things for which there are patterns available (okay, usually FREE patterns but still...) and someone out there created the pattern and thought that human beings would actually want to MAKE this item either for themselves or as a gift for someone else.

Our first entry is.....


This is described as a "shrug". What is actually is, however, is more like "Two big sleeves held together with a tie". And the pattern looks like an afghan my parents had in the 1970's. Not only is this rather useless, rather pointless, and all around rather unattractive the yarn the makers recommend using to make this glorious creation is alpaca wool yarn. Do you have any idea how expensive alpaca wool yarn is? Trust me it's pricey for the nice, 100% stuff. So, yeah, you would be spending quite a bit of money all to create.... this.

And, by the way, what the heck is up with the model?! Is she auditioning for an old fashioned melodrama? "I can't pay the rent", "You must pay the rent!" "I can't pay the rent".... etc.