Sunday, February 5, 2012

Retro Comic Book Reviews

A.K.A. Comics you might have missed but really shouldn't have.

For the inaugural RCBR we have Matthew Loux's 2006 OGN (that's Original Graphic Novel) for those who don't speak comic book abbreviations) SideScrollers.



"Side-Scrolling" usually refers to a video game in which the characters move from left to right across the screen encountering various enemies and obstacles which must be defeated in order for the player to move on to the next level and eventually win the game.

Side-scrolling games are among the favorite video games of recent high school graduates Matt, Brian and Brad. They are prepared to while away their summer playing games, discussing pop culture, eating junk food, and pursuing new shipments of action figures at the local big box store.

Their planned routine, however, is interrupted by a day of adventure as Matt learns that the girl he secretly has a crush on, Amber, is planning to go to the big rock music show with Dick the school bully and football jock. More to the point, Matt, Brian and Brad discover that the bully intends to seduce Amber to make her just another notch on his belt. Matt, Brian and Brad's attempts at stopping Dick's plans put them on the run from Dick and his football buddies.

Along the way the three friends must deal with a troop of angry "Girlie Scouts", a Satanic cat, an escaped scorpion, and various elements of mischief and mayhem. Will Matt be able to defend Amber's reputation? Will Brad escape the Satanic cat with his soul intact? Will all three ever get to the big rock show? Tune in to find out!


SideScrollers has some swearing and sexual innuendo so this is not a comic for the little kiddies. But for anyone who remembers the early films of Kevin Smith this graphic novel will touch a chord. Action moves from satire to the ridiculous and absurdly impossible but always with a genuine sense of humor and a deft touch. No matter how silly the action gets (like a talking South American Bark Scorpion) the characters remain oddly grounded in their emotions and motivations.

Also, the pop culture references fly fast and furious -- mostly movies and video games -- so those unfamiliar with the culture may be a bit lost but for those of us who are denizens of that world the conversations are familiar... and funny. Writer and artist Loux also never misses a chance to throw in a good-natured little jab at those bits of pop-culture. Sometimes the jabs come in the form of dialogue but sometimes they are hidden in the background artwork.

And that does lead us to a discussion of the artwork. The comic is in black and white and Loux has a style that is... well... highly stylized. His figures look and move like exaggerated cartoon characters -- which also ramps up the hilarity throughout the comic. The whole thing looks like it's built for animation -- in a good way.

If you're a gamer geek, sci-fi geek, comic book geek or any combination thereof then check this graphic novel out. SideScrollers is guaranteed to get a laugh out of you -- or at the very least a grin.

You can order SideScrollers from publisher Oni Press.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Children of a Lesser Bond, pt. 1: "The Wild, Wild, West" Season 1

The Wild, Wild, West was not the first American show to come out of the spy craze of the 1960's but it was arguably the most variant on the theme.

In the mid-1960's spies were not the only popular genre in TV and movies -- Westerns were also making a strong showing on both the big and small screens. Series creator Michael Garrison came up with the bright idea to marry the two genres in hopes of creating something wildly popular. The result was a kind of James Bond in the 1870's. Garrison also wanted to make sure he kept the James Bond trappings of the wild spy gadgets so the writers took mostly modern devices and cleverly transposed them to the time frame -- deliberate quasi-anachronisms which winked at the modern audience. For example, in one episode Artemus Gordon, fellow agent and gadget guy, invents tear gas. In another episode, since radios didn't exist as a form of communication in the 1870's, instead of having a radio hidden in a cigarette case Agent James West produces a telegraph apparatus hidden in a cane and a cigar case. In another episode West is given a carriage with various gadgets -- including a spring-loaded 'ejector seat'! It is interesting because those elements now lend the show a kind of proto-Steampunk and proto-Teslapunk feel making it seem ahead of it's time.

The series adopted a tongue-in-cheek tone focusing on action, adventure, and exaggerated villains with a heavy dose of humor.



For the main lead, James West, young, athletic actor Robert Conrad was chosen. Conrad was a natural man of action and insisted on doing his own stunts. He argued with studio executives until he got his way but this would come back to haunt Conrad and the whole production team in a later season… something I hope we’ll get to in another post. Conrad’s desert-dry line delivery paired well with his co-star…



Character actor Ross Martin was picked for the role of West’s partner – Artemus Gordon. Martin had gained his start in radio where his ability to do different accents and change his voice was a considerable boon. He made the move to movies and then television but his career did not really take off until he played the villain in the movie The Great Race. It was on the strength of that role that he won the part in The Wild, Wild, West.

The premise was simple – Secret Service Agents James West and Artemus Gordon traveled around the country in their private train stopping threats to the President of the United States and the country at large. Along the way they meet lovey ladies in distress and some who cause the heroic agents a bit of distress, diabolical villains, and deadly perils.

So let’s look at the fist season, shall we?

With the aforementioned simple premise there really wasn’t a lot of tweaking of the series that occurred over the course of the first season. A character called Tennyson – West and Gordon’s British butler on the train – was added but he only lasted three episodes before being quietly jettisoned. The only other noticeable change was the growth of Ross Martin’s role. In the first produced episodes Martin’s Gordon didn't really add much to the stories. He tended to appear at the beginning, sometimes in the middle, and then at the end dropping in only to dump some necessary exposition to move the plot along then heading off to ‘investigate other leads’ – which were often never mentioned again. The writers, however, soon realized that Martin and Conrad’s obvious on-screen chemistry and Martin’s comedic timing and ability to create characters out of whole cloth were benefits and began increasing his role. And it should be noted that Martin was given pretty much free reign on the disguises that Artemus Gordon utilized throughout the series – he would decide on the costuming, wigs, make-up, prosthetics, and voice -- which showed his innate talent.

Shows from this era also really can’t be judged on characterization – and particularly not this show where the focus was always on the plot rather than on the characters. Out of all who appear the villains often get the most character development. The two leads – West and Gordon – were pretty much exactly the same when you first met them as at the end of the season and you never learn much about their pasts. West is originally an Army officer and a trained fighter. Gordon is a former stage actor, inventor and chemist. You get all of that within the first few episodes and that’s all you get for all 28 episodes in the first season.

Two groups in general kind of suffer here as well… women and minorities. The series has just about zero feminist credibility today as women appear in the episodes to either provide someone for West to flirt with and seduce or to be the villains. And outside of the villains very few of the women who appear are shown to be strong, capable, figures. Even the villains tend to fall apart at the end and repent of their evil ways thanks to Wests’ charms.



(and a charming backside it was, too...)

In regards to minorities – well, there aren’t too many in the first season but the ones who do appear tend to suffer from painful racial stereotyping. A few manage to escape this – and it’s a real breath of fresh air to see from that time period – but most are simply a product of less enlightened times and less enlightened writers bowing to terrible social conventions of the time period. Additionally, a great many roles were often played by white actors in make-up. It's kind of wince inducing today -- although even today it's a battle still being fought in Hollywood.

Where the show excelled – even here in the first season – was with the humor, the plotting and the villains. The writers knew how to amp up the action. The threats were nicely threatening and nearly each commercial break ended on some kind of cliffhanger. Conrad threw himself into fight scenes and stunts with abandon and the result was that most of them were really action packed melees and stand up well today. This, too, though would come back to haunt the show as the level of violence there made it a target for various anti-violence crusade groups. In the first season alone we see a (relatively) innocent woman impaled (bloodlessly) on a thrown sword, another unarmed and non-threatening woman take a knife to the stomach, and four men hung from rudimentary scaffolding. And those are just a few of the examples. People tended to die in the show… a lot… and often violently… and not just the villains either.

The humor though was a much tighter wire to balance on. The writers deliberately threw in puns and word-play and often relied on somewhat broad humor but at the same time they rode the delicate line between gently satirizing the spy genre without going over the top into parody or spoof.

And finally there were the villains. There are a number of great ones here in the first season. Many… okay, probably most… are simply one-note wonders with a gimmick and some style but a few had genuine reasons for wanting to lash out and there is a bit of sympathy for these devils written in. This is surprising for the time period and makes the villains more rounded characters. None perhaps more so than Miguelito Loveless – played by dwarf actor Michael Dunn. The writers treated the character with a great amount of respect – always taking care to show the villain as supremely intelligent, crafty, able to defend himself, and complex – showing a great compassion for some people and things and a chilling disregard for others. More to the point, the character’s size was never treated as the main aspect of his personality.

The first season was the show’s only season to be filmed in black and white. It debuted in 1965 when American television was beginning the conversion to color. The various directors managed to use the black and white to their advantage though – playing with light and dark and using shadows to help hide some cheap and obviously reused and reused and reused sets.

So all that’s left here is to look at the good… And the bad.

Surprisingly, none of the 28 initial episodes are outright bad. There are a great many that are watchable but overall either forgettable or simply mediocre. There are a few though that stood out for me as being really well done…

The Night of the Torture Chamber”: A state governor is replaced by a double so that an avaricious art collector can pursue a mad scheme. What I loved about this one is that the villain’s plot is an eminently personal one instead of being a national threat. Ross Martin gets to do a truly hilarious turn as a French art agent (and for the record, Ross Martin really could speak French – among several other languages) and the way the villain is ultimately defeated is exceedingly clever.

The Night of the Steel Assassin”: Here is another one where I simply loved the villain… get used to it; most of these I’ve picked are because of the villain. Horribly disfigured in an explosion, Torres recreates his body in steel and wire and goes out seeking vengeance on those he feels should have been the ones to suffer. Okay, so the whole ‘cyborg’ aspect of this one is stretching the disbelief on the anachronistic gadgets (and no, they DON’T use the term ‘cyborg’ in the story) but the execution is just too good. The sound effects add a metallic overlay to the actor’s voice lending a creepily inhuman quality to it. The idea of Torres developing his mind because his body is little more than a shattered shell is compelling and, more to the point, there is some question as to whether or not he has a legitimate beef. Torres was blown up in a raid on an ammo depot because he had drawn the lowest card among his fellow Army unit members and thus had to do guard duty on the ammo depot. The thing is his card had been a Jack and the other six members of his unit had all drawn higher cards. He accuses them of cheating and really… he might be right! Because of this you actually feel a bit of sympathy for him and understand his anger… but his way of seeking “justice” – by killing all those who were in his unit including Ulysses S. Grant now President of the United States -- is still wrong. He also makes a truly noble exit -- adding to the feeling of respect for this villain.

The Night of the Grand Emir”: First thing: yes, it’s white guys playing really, really stereotypical (for the time period) Middle Easterners. It isn’t pretty. It frankly leaves kind of a bad taste in your mouth. Once you get past that though there is, again, a great villain here in T. Wigget Jones. Sure, you know he’s the villain right from the start but he’s got panache and style and actor Don Francks delivers the dialogue with obvious relish – but without chewing the scenery. On top of all of that there is an ‘Assassins’ Club’ here that is just a plain neat idea. And as a trivia note – the requisite lovely woman this episode is played by Yvonne Craig – who is more well remembered for her role as Batgirl in the 1960’s Batman TV series.

The Night of the Puppeteer”: Oooo, this one is just firing on all cylinders. Everything about this story just plain WORKS. The villain is a man (perhaps) wrongfully accused of murder. He was believed killed in an escape attempt but now all those Supreme Court Justices who turned down his appeal are dying one-by-one. Again, we have a sympathetic villain and the idea of him building life-sized puppets is just creepy. The actors playing the various 'puppets' do a wonderful job at it, the set design is avaunt-garde and loaded with symbolism, and the music by composer Dave Grusin has some great cues. The best scene in the episode is when West dances with what he believes to be the life-sized ballerina puppet Vivid. He loses himself in the dance and then is visibly disturbed that he did so – forgetting momentarily that Vivid was not real. The scene is well done and well-acted by all involved.



The Night of the Murderous Spring”: In Miguelito Loveless’s fourth outing he sends James West on a bad drug trip but that is only the first step in his plan to restore what he sees as balance to the world. Although I really like Loveless as a villain this is the only one of his stories to make my list. The others were good, don’t get me wrong, but this one had other elements which just make it the best of the bunch. Loveless, however, as a recurring villain actually does have some character development growing a little more unhinged with each appearance. By the time he arrives here he has reached a new, terrifying level of madness. Determined to wipe all of humanity off the face of the Earth he has created a drug which causes people to hallucinate and lose control. This episode features a really chilling scene in which Loveless, to demonstrate the power of his drug, gives it to his staff – 20 men and women – who then go mad. The whole thing is unseen – happening behind closed doors – but the old truism of horror remains true – what you can’t see is more horrifying than what you can. There are screams and cries and violent pounding on the closed door and then everything falls to a deathly silence. It sends a real shiver up your spine. Another good aspect of the story is the character of Kitten Twitty. Tall, overweight, and implied as illiterate, Kitten is devoted to Miguelito but in a heartbreaking soliloquy she tells James and Artemus exactly why – forever laughed at due to her size, all she wants is to be pretty, to be normal, and to have a chance at true love – and Loveless has promised to use his science make her into the woman she wants to be. Finally, there is the banter between James and Artemus. It’s particularly good here and is needed to bring levity into what would otherwise be a heavy and depressing script.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

"Dr. No" Turns 50!

I really can't pin down when I fell in love with all things pop culture espionage. I remember watching James Bond movies on TV when I was a kid and things only went on from there.

So imagine my surprise to hear recently that Dr. No, the first film in the James Bond movie franchise (although not Ian Fleming's first James Bond book) was turning 50 this year. 50 years of Bond movies, six actors in the lead role (not counting "spoofs") and over 22 movies. It's quite a record.

But it isn't just Bond himself. What Dr. No kicked off would be an upswing in other books, movies, TV shows, and even comic books all dealing with spies and espionage and all, in one way or another, owing a tip of the hat to Mr. Bond.

So I thought what better way to celebrate 50 years of spies in pop culture than to take a look at some of these spiritual children of Bond. As such, I'm starting a series here over the course of the year (I hope) that I'm choosing to call......

[drumroll]

Children of a Lesser Bond

Tune in tomorrow for the first installment....

And don't worry, we'll spend a little time with Mr. Bond himself before the year is out....

In the meantime....

Monday, January 16, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012

Day Late and a Dollar Short -- Doctor Who Christmas Special

So it's been a hectic Holiday season at the Stress Cave Secret Hideout.

Now that things have calmed down... a bit... it's time to start writing again on all sorts of geeky stuff. And of course, what would Christmas be without the Doctor Who Christmas Special.

2011 saw "The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe" -- an obvious play on C.S. Lewis's classic book The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. So how did this year's installment stack up? Let's take a look....

First of all, it should be said that the BBC did post a short "prequel" on their website that takes place before the episode opens.



In truth, it doesn't really add any necessary information and if you saw last season's finale then you already knew that Amy and Rory were no longer traveling with the Doctor.

So that being said, here's the rest of the plot:

The Doctor escapes from an exploding spaceship... the hard way... without the TARDIS... and lands... badly... in a sleepy English village. He is found by Madge Arwell who seems kind if a bit... scatterbrained. Madge takes the Doctor (whose face she never sees) to the TARDIS and in gratitude the Doctor tells her that if she ever needs his help to just "wish".

Three years later, on Christmas Eve, Madge learns that her husband, an RAF pilot, has apparently been lost in WW II. She hides this fact from her children and takes them to a relative's country estate to enjoy the holiday away from the bombing. She hopes to give them a happy Christmas before she has to tell them the truth.

At the house Madge and her two children discover a new caretaker for the empty old place -- a rather strange and manic young man who has redecorated the house for Christmas, transforming it into a wondrous place of play for the children. There is also a large present under the tree wrapped in TARDIS blue paper....

Late that night, Madge's son sneaks out of bed, opens the present, and finds it a gateway to another world. "The Caretaker" and Madge's daughter follow as does Madge but this "present" proves to be far more dangerous than the Doctor anticipated. Now the family is in for the Christmas of a lifetime... if they can survive it.

My Take: Sadly this story was only 'mediocre'. Doctor Who has a reputation for pulling out all the stops for grand and action packed Christmas specials -- or at least deeply moving, emotional stories -- but this one sort of fails on both fronts.

The bones of the story are good and sound -- the attempt to use the delights of the season to drown out the deprivations of war -- the rationing, the loss of life, etc. -- is interesting and has the potential to resonate well from an emotional stand-point but the execution feels too rushed.

The story does a good job of establishing Madge and her two children but when we get to the alien world nothing else is as well developed. There is a lovely special effect with two alien beings -- a wooden "king" and "queen" -- but we learn nothing about them. They exist and they spout some cryptic exposition and that's it. The special effect seems wasted on them. The native inhabitants of this alien world are also given short shrift as we learn nothing about them, their society or culture. Again, they exist but that is pretty much it.

We also meet some invaders who provide a bit of comedy relief but here they're really not very funny being instead insultingly incompetent and existing to spout exposition... then leave. Arrrggghhhh!!!! It's like the whole episode is made up of characters who are merely "Captain Exposition"!

On top of all of that there are plot holes abounding -- all of which could have been easily fixed... but weren't and unexplained events that are handwaved away without even the good grace of an attempted technobabble explanation.

And all of this probably sounds like the episode was more 'bad' then 'meh' BUT it has a few graces which save it from being outright terrible:

The sets and locations are lovely and there are some great special effects here (and a couple of pretty poor ones but we'll let that slide).

The story of Madge struggling to hide the loss of her children's father just before Christmas is compelling as it means she must constantly swallow her own grief and deal with the knowledge that this will "ruin" Christmas for her children for years, if not a lifetime, to come.

Matt Smith again turns in a bravura performance. His manic Doctor whirls with childlike glee and we see again the mixture of the old soul with the young eyes. He connects with the children on their own level and he becomes joy personified. And yet he also is able to sympathize and understand Madge's struggle. And in the end he struggles with his own connections to humanity and the Christmas season and what they mean to him.

Steven Moffat seems to be keeping true to his word at the end of last season of the Doctor deciding to try to maintain a low profile. In past Christmas adventures the Doctor has often stormed in, loudly proclaiming who he is and his intention to 'save everyone'. Here, he never speaks his name, allowing Madge's family to continue using his alias-away-from-alias "Caretaker" (more on that next) and the one time he tries to take control of the situation he is rebuffed and must take a backseat to another. This is a Doctor who is quickly learning his lesson and discovering that sometimes 'less is more'.

Finally, I adore the Doctor's temporary new 'name' here. "Caretaker" could almost become his new alias if the show wasn't "Doctor Who" and had been for nearly 50 years now. The Doctor may be playing the role of the caretaker of the manor house but it is quickly apparent that he sees himself as the 'caretaker' of Madge and her family as well. And the name can even apply on a more global and galactic scale as the Doctor has proven himself to be the 'caretaker' of the Earth and even to a large extent the 'caretaker' of oppressed beings across multiple worlds and eras.

To wrap (heh) things up: "The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe" was kind of like the blind gift exchanges at work. There's always a price limit and since no one knows who their gift is going to they try to pick out something blandly neutral that could go to anyone. So the gift you end up with is something unspectacular without any personality or personal touches to it. Yeah, that's this episode. It is, however, all we're getting until the fall. Settle in for your "long winter's nap" and peruse some older episodes until the return of Amy, Rory and the 11th Doctor!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Magic

Excuse me for getting a bit schmaltzy for a moment. I promise it won't last long.

As Christmas fast approaches we tend to use the word "magic" to describe the season but have we ever really thought about why?

Twinkling lights? Well, they're not magic -- it's AC/DC current flowing through wires providing power to tiny LED bulbs or tiny incandescent bulbs all colored in various shades.

Is it the tinsel? That's not magic either -- it's simply strips of colored, metallic fibers.

Ornaments? Trees? Again -- not magic. Metals, plastics, fabrics, pine (if you're so inclined; otherwise it's just more metals and plastics), etc.

Is it that all of these things combine to lend a "magical" appearance to things? Again, not really -- it looks pretty (if you've done it right) but not necessarily magical.

So maybe it's Santa Claus? except, well...... Santa's not exactly magical either.







Except that he is.




Sort of.




About ten years ago my somewhat scattered family ended up at my sister and brother-in-law's place in Virginia where they were living at the time. For me it was a very hectic time and even after I got out there things continued to be hectic. We ended up skipping Christmas Eve services as my two year-old nephew had to go to the emergency room with a high fever. The family didn't get back from the emergency room until about midnight with the diagnosis of walking pneumonia and an ear infection... poor little guy. He was plunked in bed and then had to begin the orgy of wrapping the last gifts and putting other things together so when he came down the next morning "Santa" would have visited.

So somewhere around 1:00 in the morning I found myself sitting on the floor, putting together a play table and chairs set and I paused and looked up for a moment. My mother was on the couch wrapping, my father and sister were bickering softly over the batteries for a toy train, my bother in law was putting some thing together with a booklet of instructions, a pile of screws, nuts and bolts, and a small assortment of tools and Enya's Greatest Hits CD was playing on the stereo (yeah, we were going for 'mellow' over 'festive' at that point). And suddenly I realized -- when my nephew came downstairs the next morning to his eyes something magical would have occurred. Santa would have come and left all these presents. He wouldn't know that "Santa" was his auntie, grandma, grandpa, mother and father -- just as my mother and father had been "Santa" for my sister and I.

In that moment *I* had become Santa Claus and more than that -- I had become "magic". I was doing something that, to my nephew's understanding, could not have been accomplished through anything else other than magic.

Now obviously my nephew's grown up and he no longer believes in Santa Claus but that doesn't stop me from remembering the years I spent as "Santa" and as a magical being. And it also doesn't stop me from still being magic despite the fact that my nephew no longer believes.

Any time I do something to help someone out it can be "magic". Whenever someone in need of any sort gets the help they need when they need it can seem serendipitous or "magical". We all can be the right people in the right place at the right time to provide just a little bit of "magic" in someone else's life and we can do it year round.

A lot of people think that this means the giving of money or food and, with the economy the way it is, they may sadly shake their heads and say they simply can't afford it this year. But there are more ways to be magical than with just cash or canned goods. Look inside -- -do you perhaps have a talent you can offer? Do you sew or knit or do car repair? Can you offer that talent to a person or a group in need? Do you simply have time and are in good enough health to offer yourself -- can you help stock shelves at a local food pantry? Or sort donations to a local charity? If you do not have a talent or much time can you simply be a listening ear to a family member or friend who maybe just needs someone to talk to? Is there someone you've been meaning to try to reconnect with? Can you reach out to them?

"Magic" sometimes needs a little work. "Santa" may be able to deliver toys all in one night but 'Santa Stressfactor' and her family had to stay up late and work their butts off to make the magic happen. Magic sometimes requires a little effort and a little work but it's worth it. And more to the point, we have the ability to keep the magic flowing all throughout the year -- long after the tinsel is put away, the ornaments have been boxed up for another year, the lights come down, and the tree gets recycled.

I'm reminded of the story I was told when I joined the Brownies years and years ago... Two little girls were visiting a relative and that relative related to them the legend of the magical beings known as Brownies who would help out homemakers by helping to keep their houses and farms clean. The little girls wanted to see a Brownie so they were told to go into the woods to where a small pond was, turn around three times and look into the water and they would see a Brownie. The little girls did as bid but when they looked into the water they saw..... Their own reflections.

This year I encourage you to be Brownies, fairies, elf lords, elves, Santa and Mrs. Clauses, Jinn -- be anything you want but be the magic in someone's life -- even if it's someone you've never met and will never meet.

Monday, December 12, 2011

The First (and hopefully last) Things I Will Ever Write About "Twilight"

Okay, I will admit, I haven't read the books and I haven't seen the movies and I doubt I ever will because there is one, big, huge flaw at the heart of the series that I just can't swallow....

A 150 year-old vampire going to high school.

HIGH SCHOOL!!!!

Seriously, and be honest... strip off the rose colored glasses of your past... would you REALLY, WILLINGLY, go back to your high school days? The peer pressure, the cliques, the judgementalism... is that something you'd want to experience again?

Not to mention the fact that, after 150 years one would hope that Edward would have spent at least part of that time actually, you know, studying and learning stuff. If I was ever granted immortality I would probably take to learning about darn near anything just to stave off the boredom. Economics? Done. Law? I'd be freakin' Perry Mason with fangs. Literature? I'd quote War and Peace from memory. You get the picture. And that's not counting the common sense and "street smarts" one would pick up after 150 years. How much do you think you'd learn about plain, old, human nature after all that time?

Compared to that high school would be a mind-numbing SLOG! Heck, I doubt many people could stand to sit through a high school class after being out of high school for even ten years!

So, yeah, Twilight officially lost me right from the opening premise. I don't care if it's an "epic romance" or not. Anyone who would willingly subject themselves to high school over and over again is a putz.