Thursday, February 17, 2011

Incomprehensible Knitting

Okay, I wasn't going to do this again so soon but I think I stumbled across the ruler of 'WTH... why would you knit that?!' items.

All other incomprehensible knitted items bow before this one because it is utterly, mind-blowingly crazy.

Behold! I give you.............

The "Footsie"

No, I'm not kidding, that's actually the name of this item. And there is a pattern on how to make it.

Now don't get me wrong. I understand the desire to prop one's feet up on a nice pillow... particularly while seated on a comfy chair, wrapped up in a good book. Also, as someone who is easily chilled I understand wanting one's feet to be warm. But attempting to combine the two with one item?

Urm..... no. Just..... no.

I mean, look at that! It's a safety hazard!! Someone knocks at your door or the phone rings and you're likely to break your neck trying to get your feet out of this thing in time to get to the door or the phone. And God forbid it be an actual emergency... like something being on fire. I can just see someone trying to 'hop' to the rescue because they can't get their feet out of their pillow in time.

And if that bit of stupidly was not enough there's more! Because think about this -- why would you go through the trouble and expense of knitting this when you could buy a cheap throw pillow at K-Mart for a couple of bucks and knit yourself a nice, soft pair of warm slipper socks (or buy them if you don't feel like knitting anything) which would essentially do the same thing but at a fraction of the cost and a fraction of the time and trouble.

To add insult to injury? Again, the yarn recommended to make this monstrosity is... alpaca wool. SERIOUSLY?! The creator not only expected someone to want to MAKE this and to want to USE it, but also to be willing to spend a metric crap ton of money on the yarn to do it.

There are things in this life which are wrong... THIS is pretty much all of them.

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